Start Your Fingers Clicking On The Top.
&Get Them Typing To The Left.
Here's The Sweetest Place On Earth.
My Funland.

im losing everyone of them, very soon. my attitude this few days was fucking idiotic. this surely had made many unpleased or unhappy with me. i attituded almost everyone, my close ppl. i came to realise in my years of school, i will always lose my friends along the way. i lost yingjing when i was in primary2, my closest of friend. she left with someone else.

she just left me slowly day by day. not telling me she's going to leave. stop waiting for me during recesses and just left with her. i din know what to do den. but i rmb clearly, the day when she officially told me she is not going to hang out with me, i cried real badly. i was only primary 2.

i lost cheryl when i was in primary4, someone told me something bad and i believed it. this ULTRA close friendship was gone.

she told me dat cheryl din liked queueing up with me in actual fact during morning assemblys at the hall. &she was just trying to be kind and pretend enjoying with me. i din know why, but i got really really upset. the day we had our same cca. i rmb so so so clearly. i din talk to her, at all. we were asked to choose 2 sports. and sit at the grandstand. i din sit with her nor the clique i usually with. i just sat in the front. &thinking of what i heard, i cried. no one know what happened. they were just shocked. we got real bad slowly at the back, we culd nvr patched back. &when one day i finally asked her abt it, it was just a misunderstanding. dat girl who told me dat was just cheating me. but after everything was cleared, there was still no way it culd come back. those really close times. we sit with each other, hang out with each other no matter we go. it was just really really really close. i rmb when we were primary 3 and the teacher almost separated us. i looked at her with those very pleading eyes and she agreed to let me move next to her. we were so happy, we smiled through the day. but dats the past.

primary 6, my clique of 5 left me 1 by 1. joining another group of 3. i was left alone again.

coming to primary 5 was a scary one. i had no friends at all. i finally tooked up the courage to ask if i culd join them. jaslynn, glennice, michelle and joanna. we soon became very good friends, it was like we always were. but there is just something dat really is bad being in a clique which is odd in number. michelle and joanna left to join will jill, zakiah and olivia. &most of the time, the remaining 3 of us will just have to go along. jaslynn and i were much closer, our house were kind of near. we just pop by each other's house all the time. but soon she felt i tells everything to glennice. she started feeling odd one out and left to join michelle and the gang. it was now only me and glennice. i have no idea when, glennice left to. &i was officially, alone.

in sec 2, i lost zhaoyu. deep in my heart, i really still treasured our friendship. i really did.

it was really hard acting as though i hate her, as though i din like her. but most of the time, its like we were once the closest of friends. i still rmb clearly the time how we became mother and daugthers. i will nvr forget. &how i know when she put me in her friendster in the same lvl as elaine. i din know i culd actually meant so much in one's heart. at dat point was when im so shocked and happy. i din know she treated me with such importance. but things changes, it changes.. i culd nvr stand on her side. whatever quarrels she is in, im just nvr there for her. &whoever i help in the end will be back with her happily, but our relationship bar decreases. i cried at the moment on the day i saw my name disappear from dat spot in her friendster. i was no longer her sunshine. but i was on her hated list. i enjoyed the time at the sec3 camp really. it was fun. but things after dat was a total twist, a MAJOR one.

sometimes i think there much be some witch casting a spell on me, making me to lose a friend every 2 years. &they must always be the closest one. i no longer wish to lose any more friends. not a single one. i have been giving attitude to xuanns this few days. i send her a sms with my so so sorrys. i gets sensitive. &thinks many many. a joke always turns to be something serious. its all my fault. my bad temper this few days made me keep thinking on what fault others might have. but, i finally starts to clear my mind. it does not always be others fault, i have mine too. i shuld treasure my friends now. no matter what. cos i shuld be glad i at least have them, there are lonely ppl in this world who might not even have a single friend. not even one. nor families. orphans. i feel like sending sms-es to everyone on the list and saying sorry. but its silly. i attitude shushu somehow today. he was just trying to joke with me. but den, dat point, i really culdnt be happy. i gave him many cold stares and attitude today. i regret. its him. it feel so good finally able to cry them all out, say them all out. although i cant possibly shout them all out. i really culd feel this burden off my shoulders. its really so true. my tears wiped, i culd smile now. &i know i will forever :D

sister's sms made me cry. but with a joy. i know sister will forever make me happy. sister is just SO CUTE! I LOVE HIM!. haha. but i love shushu more :D its all over on the "cold war" which din even really was in the beginning. i learned something. take the first step, it is nvr bad. but good :D i really can cry man. haha :DDDD

im such a weird weird weird girl. i .. suddenly think i have the best ppl around the world right beside me. i really do love them. even if they dont love me dat much. but im just happy they culd be beside me :D